Have you ever eaten that white asparagus that looks like it’ll grow in the dark? It’s terrible and it isn’t even nutritious and when you eat it off a white plate you feel like you’re in a hospital.

FRIDAY

Pinocchio’s Ashes is opening at the Theater for New York City in the East Village! It’s about a no-good, book-burning future (present?).

If you happen to be in Amherst, Massachusetts, there’s the mighty fine Juniper Literary Festival, a new writing/ new writers extravaganza starting Friday at the UMass campus there. Amelia Gray, Anna Moschovakis, Paul Legault and Blake Butler will all be there. It’s kind of a deluge, a good deluge.

Also! Braden King’s movie HERE comes out today. It’s called here but in all capital letters; that isn’t just an incitement to click. There’s a terrific metaphor of cartographer as techy colonialist, and also really sexy things.

SATURDAY

There’s a rich tradition of any good party pretty much killing you. (By the way, BOMBlog just looked up bender: a wild drinking spree. Isn’t that terrific? A spree!) In that vein, Cheryl pledges to ruin your life; their website’s called cherylwillruinyourlife.info. They’re having a party on Saturday. They subsist on a spartan diet of fake blood and glitter. Read more about them HERE.

SUNDAY

Yo on Sunday go check out some garbage. A new exhibit called Trash Talk just opened at Spattered Columns consisting entirely of stuff that reasonable, uncritical people dump in garbage cans so that it’ll go away. Some of the stuff in this gallery is said to be bonafide gross! Besides working to stem the economy of superfluous crap, recycling is kind of the most important thing in the world. This is interesting and important.

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This weekend: The Museum of the Moving Image is kind of the best place in the world; there are also things elsewhere.

FRIDAY

“Today” opens tonight at Lisa Cooley’s Lisa Cooley Fine Art. The exhibit got its name and inspiration from Frank O’Hara’s exuberantly everyday poem of the same name, which name drops jujubes, kangaroos, sequins, chocolate milkshakes and harmonicas too, in 8 neat lines. The show, one hopes, will be no less bursting with good things.

And then there’s Touch of Evil playing at The Museum of the Moving Image! A gnarly showcase of most every depravity I can think of, this Orson Welles movie makes one think the Mexicans probably want that border wall too.

SATURDAY

Keith Haring! Keith Haring! The Brooklyn Museum has a new, fat show of his work! After you get your fill of kangaroos and harmonicas and pearls go see the overflowing happiness that are Keith Haring’s (!) paintings.

And then go back to The Museum of the Moving Image because more delight awaits: Hong Sang-Soo won’t going to talk much about why his movies are great, but the movies can speak for themselves. The Museum’s screening Woman on the Beach Saturday night.

SUNDAY

There’s a Francesca Woodman retrospective at the Guggenheim. Woodman was dead very young but she was very busy when she still wasn’t. Go see the fruits of her blistering labors.

And then go back to The Museum of the Moving Image again! There’s more Hong Sang-Soo to be watched. For the full skedj of Sang-Soo delight click here.

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